It can be especially difficult to practice self-love and self-esteem, when distracted by the discord one might see in what appears to be happening around them (or when visited by the feeling that things seem to be moving – ‘progressing’? – mind-numbingly slowly).
Perhaps you’d been enjoying an upswing recently, things had been looking ‘positive’ (and seemingly going in a direction you prefer). Like, if it be an important theme to you, maybe you’d received news that institutions are divesting en masse from companies notorious for their abusive environmental practices, and reinvesting in alternative technologies – the planet will be green! But /and then you receive a shock, a setback, a ‘WTF?!’…another spill, another tarnished coastline, a news headline that includes a picture of an innocent denizen of nature covered in effluent. You feel like your partnership with the world – with the Divine, even – is broken, gone (or, at the very least, seriously compromised).
What’s going on?!
In soul-speak, you’re taking the circuitous route; or at least, your perceptions are. It’s hard to know – to remember – that you’re always loved (that you are Love, capable of anything and everything), at times like these, when your life-affirming outlook appears to be receiving evidence to the contrary.
You’re not being called to more doing at this point, but more observing, with a nod to investigating – or at least giving consideration to – how you might be being manipulated (by another /others, seen or unrealized; or by your own thoughts, expectations, presumptions, beliefs and motivations).
Try to appreciate it as an opportunity you’re being given to gain more knowledge. Taken in this context, knowledge – or perhaps more specifically, the allowance afforded it – breeds healing.
You’re testing your commitment to deeper truths (and releasing expired ones), so don’t allow your ego to keep propelling you, especially not when your body and spirit would most benefit from rest, contemplation, rejuvenation and the clarity that arises with it.
It’s worth asking yourself, “Is how I’ve been seeing things/ what I’ve been pushing for (and how) better than Love?” [Spoiler alert: it’s not what you see but your reaction to what you see that determines the truth of your experience.]
Big Medicine Love to You
David ‘Black Feather’ Nagy