“But, but, but… !!?”
What to do when you’re not able to get closure, to make amends, when you can’t accept or get past what you feel has been left unsaid, undone or unresolved? How can you ever be at peace? (How can the other?) How do you move forward, when closing the door on the past doesn’t seem possible?
That be the case, a better question is: Is there a bigger picture I need to see here? Better yet: What is the bigger picture I need to see here?
Things didn’t go the way you’d have preferred/ the way you’d hoped (or expected, if that’s more to the point). Take your pick, or add your own: you weren’t respecting yourself [I’d have written ‘another’, but it all amounts to the same thing]; you weren’t being responsible; your courage lapsed; ‘it seemed like a clever thing to do’; a mistruth(s) was communicated. Or maybe you simply assumed you still had plenty of that ever-elusive ‘more time’ you’ve heard tell of.
[Or] you feel a ‘mistake’ has been made.
As an unwelcome companion to whatever has transpired, you’ve manufactured a regret.
In any case, you can’t see a solution.
How does “big picture” fix that, Mr. Black Feather?
How does big picture fix that, indeed?
One answer: by celebrating and inspiring selflessness, humility, acting conscientiously, consciously /lucidly (from here on in).
Another: by challenging you to accept that the rewards your ‘small-self’ ambitions desired are not what you believed them to be. The impulse to control how things are ‘supposed’ to be can interfere with the way things are ‘Supposed’ to be (for You).
Put the circumstances of your own non-closure (…‘dis-‘closure?) out of mind for a moment [I can appreciate it being more than likely that that’s not easy]. Can you imagine there can be value in learning to shine your light (while still being able to protect yourself), even when under duress? (we’ll leave aside whether said duress arises from within or without, for the moment at least) …to be cognizant of hidden agendas? (‘from within’ included) …to arm yourself with integrity, rather than a destructive energy? …to realize that you’re (still) safe and protected? That help appreciating that ‘might’ be available (it is), even though there may be some block(s) to seeing said assistance at present?
[Assuming it’ll clarify things,] let’s maybe move on to how to access your particular big picture…
And the answer is… “with angelic help”…
[Huh? I was expecting a different answer. I don’t know what, exactly; just ‘different’.]
…Allow for it. Accept inspired thoughts that might seem to come from outside your ‘normal’ thinking. Speaking personally, I recognize these when they come by the fact that they don’t at first appear to make overmuch sense – they’re not ‘business as usual’, in terms of what I might be inclined to think.
Short of telling you the long version of, I recently pulled a Coyote trick on myself. A Coyote trick is a thing you do to get what you’re for some reason motivated to want, but in a way that doesn’t actually get you that whatever-it-is-thing you (thought you) were after, except that the doing of it seems like such the right-smart, clever thing to do, that maybe you don’t even notice that you’re not ever attaining that desired thing.
…I was headstrong, narrow-minded, self-centred in my actions [in other words, chasing my Coyote tail 😉 ] and (again, long story short…) I lost a friend; not just that, but I kind of completely freaked her out. Ruminating afterwards over what’d transpired (and mentally self-administering a good old-fashioned stoning in the process), I was provided with a message that went (something very like) “you gave her something (/someone) outside herself to focus her anger on, rather than internalizing (her fears) and further hurting herself.”
But wait a minute, I thought, that didn’t fit with my self-appointed mission of berating myself for what’d happened (in that way, the answer I’d been offered certainly didn’t make ‘sense’). I at first considered whether it wasn’t just a self-justification – it kinda sounded like one. I did come around to see and accept, though, how – from a big picture overview – the whole drama could ultimately have been helpful. Was feeling like an idiot for a while worth my friend’s improved health /outlook (not to mention, me coming from a place of greater integrity in future)? I’d say, definitely ‘yes’.
So, ‘big picture’: can you imagine that yours might involve protecting yourself from your own mental self-abuse [or someone else’s]?
Whatever the message is that Spirit wishes you to know can, in the Grandest scheme of things, provide closure too. And as ever, if you need help with that disclosure, feel free to message yours truly.
Big Medicine Love to You
David ‘Black Feather’ Nagy