Do you find yourself asking lately, “What did I do to deserve this?!” Feeling trapped, like a bird in a cage, defeated by circumstances or expectations (of others or – false though they may be – from /towards yourself)?
If someone would have told me years ago that I’d be a healer and Love helping people, that I’d see it as a Privilege, I’d have told them that they were totally and truly bat-shit crazy. Actually, I wouldn’t have told them; more likely, I’d have done something vilely, insidiously passive-aggressive towards them. It was my own preferred expression of anger that ‘didn’t look like’ anger.
Most everyone that knows me presently will find this extremely difficult to believe, but (if it isn’t obvious from that last paragraph) I used to hate people. And I didn’t discriminate, either; I hated pretty much everyone.
Did I have a ‘why’? Not that I would – or even, could – have thought about it this way at the time, but it was because everyone else needed to recognize how hurt I was, and everyone else was responsible for how I felt. They must have been. After all, I wasn’t. Right? It’s so much easier to hate other people than to admit that you hate yourself.
Contrary to how things might appear or feel to you right now, with what you’re going through, things are actually about to take off in your world. Your unique life experiences have prepared you in a way that will make the most of what it is you’re letting go of at this time, and there are soul-level rewards to be embraced as a result.
So why don’t you feel any different? As with any change, it can take a while for your awareness to catch up, accept and perceive the reality of it.
In the meanwhile (not that there is a meanwhile, past and future being illusory, but anyway…), beware of making ‘Real’ any typical behaviours /perceptions you’ve used as distractions. If they show up, tell them you love them, but kiss them goodbye. They’re obsessions you’ve entertained to distract you from moving forward in life; somewhere to direct your loving intentions, but that don’t go anywhere.
Search online for “death, meaning” and you’ll be presented with answers like ‘end of life’ and /or ‘cessation of vital functions’. Personally, I find that really funny, in that supposed descriptions of what death is are actually definitions that are not only dependent upon but in a practical sense actually only describe what it’s not.
And if an appreciation of death (as a ‘thing’ or event) is dependent upon an understanding of what it means to be ‘alive’, we find ourselves on a whole contraindicative slope of ascertaining what ‘life’ is. We can generally talk about definitions of life as predicated on the idea of matter animated by a life ‘force’, but for the fact that even what we define as dead plant matter nourishes life (as compost, for example), must it not by extension (still) have some ‘life’ in it?
Our physical self is great matter for our spirit. It connects you to your experience in ways that your presupposed thoughts alone can’t. For the majority of us (not having a conscious appreciation of having experienced it before), death causes us to surrender to sensation, apart even from how our thoughts rationalize or interpret those sensations.
‘The’ truly personal journey, the expiration of our physical bodies, death inspires us to an appreciation of aspects of life we’re otherwise inclined to deny. Whether your own appears imminent, or is a long way off, ultimately, there’s no ‘thinking’ our way through it. It’s the one education that our minds can’t ‘solve’ for us, and as such, it grounds us in visceral experience.
It sets the appeal that you trust your intuition and throw the net of your awareness out into the world around you, pulling in truths that may defy your intellect, your rational mind, and what your conditioning might wish to (superficially) espouse.
A light came to earth and brought teachers to Human. They taught Human all the time, even in Human’s sleep, and thinking to nourish themselves, they ate truths while they were teaching.
Over time and because of what they were themselves learning from being around Human, the teachers split up into Wolf, Coyote and Dog, so that they could make more opportunities to eat.
Wolf fed itself by convincing Human that the best way to survive was to be the fiercest and strongest. With no one else to fight, Human fought Shadow. Wolf would watch Human rage and it would fill him up.
Coyote would range far and wide. Wherever Human went, Coyote played tricks to make Human think and do crazy things. Coyote would laugh and laugh, and it filled him up.
Dog stayed close to Human, and instead of eating truths or making Human crazy, was fed by Human’s friendship, of which he was very protective.
One day Coyote thought to himself, “Why should Wolf have so much influence? And why should Dog’s life be so simple? I’m the clever one! I will break this bond between Wolf and Dog and Human!”
If you’re in the Thunder Bay (Ontario) area tomorrow, come for a healing session with yours truly or any of the other profoundly gifted persons who’ll be offering their services there. While I’m at it, I feel I should give a shout out about the cheesecake (lactose-free, gluten-free and Yummy beyond words) 😀 !!
Is that a bad thing? It most likely is, if you’re listening to what the ego, conditioning, or whatever perceptual framework you want to call it has to say about it.
That being the case, what might be the soul-level reason for experiencing financial (for lack of a better word:) frustration? What’s the trade-off, the ‘Benefit’ to manifesting conditions that might for all intents and purposes breed discontent or disappointment? And how might it fit into our individual life’s Purposes?
Well, it’s a ‘trend’ that we feel we need to make an effort to directly control things, or we won’t be on the same road our Dreams are. The truth is, though, that by endeavouring to manipulate things, we won’t be. Self-will limits what Spirit can provide, because it limits what we’re capable of believing we Deserve. It begs the question, ‘are you desiring something that’s actually Good for you (and others), or is it possible that you can manifest something Bigger and Better?’ What motivates us isn’t necessarily in our Highest, best interest. ‘Going right’ might get us what we’re conditioned to want, but not what we well and truly Need.
Another trend is fear, of ‘bad news’, of change, a detour, loss, and /or disappointment. In our grasping at what we imagine is ‘valuable’, we miss our lifedream’s inherently invaluable message: that sometimes, our going in circles is right on target. It’s an invitation to becoming a Master… and what do you imagine that’s worth?
Big Medicine Love to You
David ‘Black Feather’ Nagy
How to move forward? I’d be Delighted to help: Illuminator Insights