“But, but, but… !!?”
What to do when you’re not able to get closure, to make amends, when you can’t accept or get past what you feel has been left unsaid, undone or unresolved? How can you ever be at peace? (How can the other?) How do you move forward, when closing the door on the past doesn’t seem possible?
Continue reading Unfinished Business: disclosure re dis-closure
Your world is a work in progress, as you are.
It can be especially difficult to practice self-love and self-esteem, when distracted by the discord one might see in what appears to be happening around them (or when visited by the feeling that things seem to be moving – ‘progressing’? – mind-numbingly slowly).
Continue reading Your Work in ‘Progress’
It (~ what you’re considering) ‘seems’ like the thing to do, right?
…I’ll let the doctors handle it – they know best.
…I’m getting bored of this relationship – I think I’ll ease my way out.
…I’ll buy those chips – it’s not like I can’t afford the two bucks.
…I refuse to accept this – it’s not like there’s an alternative (…?)
But what if the truth of the matter is that ‘what feels right’ is just what’s familiar? (And what if what’s familiar isn’t actually doing you any favours?)
Continue reading Is Your Comfort Zone a ‘Dis’comfort zone: why choosing what feels wrong (instead) might be right
Do you find yourself asking lately, “What did I do to deserve this?!” Feeling trapped, like a bird in a cage, defeated by circumstances or expectations (of others or – false though they may be – from /towards yourself)?
Continue reading Flying When Grounded
If someone would have told me years ago that I’d be a healer and Love helping people, that I’d see it as a Privilege, I’d have told them that they were totally and truly bat-shit crazy. Actually, I wouldn’t have told them; more likely, I’d have done something vilely, insidiously passive-aggressive towards them. It was my own preferred expression of anger that ‘didn’t look like’ anger.
Most everyone that knows me presently will find this extremely difficult to believe, but (if it isn’t obvious from that last paragraph) I used to hate people. And I didn’t discriminate, either; I hated pretty much everyone.
Did I have a ‘why’? Not that I would – or even, could – have thought about it this way at the time, but it was because everyone else needed to recognize how hurt I was, and everyone else was responsible for how I felt. They must have been. After all, I wasn’t. Right? It’s so much easier to hate other people than to admit that you hate yourself.
Continue reading On Anger and Bravery: love need be the only voice
Contrary to how things might appear or feel to you right now, with what you’re going through, things are actually about to take off in your world. Your unique life experiences have prepared you in a way that will make the most of what it is you’re letting go of at this time, and there are soul-level rewards to be embraced as a result.
Continue reading Letting Go: death as liberator
Have you been ‘longing for belonging’, to feel ‘at home’, ‘accepted’? Your search is over; it’s already happened. You’ve (been) Chosen to Belong.
So why don’t you feel any different? As with any change, it can take a while for your awareness to catch up, accept and perceive the reality of it.
In the meanwhile (not that there is a meanwhile, past and future being illusory, but anyway…), beware of making ‘Real’ any typical behaviours /perceptions you’ve used as distractions. If they show up, tell them you love them, but kiss them goodbye. They’re obsessions you’ve entertained to distract you from moving forward in life; somewhere to direct your loving intentions, but that don’t go anywhere.
Continue reading longing for belonging?
Search online for “death, meaning” and you’ll be presented with answers like ‘end of life’ and /or ‘cessation of vital functions’. Personally, I find that really funny, in that supposed descriptions of what death is are actually definitions that are not only dependent upon but in a practical sense actually only describe what it’s not.
And if an appreciation of death (as a ‘thing’ or event) is dependent upon an understanding of what it means to be ‘alive’, we find ourselves on a whole contraindicative slope of ascertaining what ‘life’ is. We can generally talk about definitions of life as predicated on the idea of matter animated by a life ‘force’, but for the fact that even what we define as dead plant matter nourishes life (as compost, for example), must it not by extension (still) have some ‘life’ in it?
Continue reading there’s a problem (or is there?): I don’t believe in death
Our physical self is great matter for our spirit. It connects you to your experience in ways that your presupposed thoughts alone can’t. For the majority of us (not having a conscious appreciation of having experienced it before), death causes us to surrender to sensation, apart even from how our thoughts rationalize or interpret those sensations.
‘The’ truly personal journey, the expiration of our physical bodies, death inspires us to an appreciation of aspects of life we’re otherwise inclined to deny. Whether your own appears imminent, or is a long way off, ultimately, there’s no ‘thinking’ our way through it. It’s the one education that our minds can’t ‘solve’ for us, and as such, it grounds us in visceral experience.
It sets the appeal that you trust your intuition and throw the net of your awareness out into the world around you, pulling in truths that may defy your intellect, your rational mind, and what your conditioning might wish to (superficially) espouse.
Continue reading Death Changes Your Mind
A light came to earth and brought teachers to Human. They taught Human all the time, even in Human’s sleep, and thinking to nourish themselves, they ate truths while they were teaching.
Over time and because of what they were themselves learning from being around Human, the teachers split up into Wolf, Coyote and Dog, so that they could make more opportunities to eat.
Wolf fed itself by convincing Human that the best way to survive was to be the fiercest and strongest. With no one else to fight, Human fought Shadow. Wolf would watch Human rage and it would fill him up.
Coyote would range far and wide. Wherever Human went, Coyote played tricks to make Human think and do crazy things. Coyote would laugh and laugh, and it filled him up.
Dog stayed close to Human, and instead of eating truths or making Human crazy, was fed by Human’s friendship, of which he was very protective.
One day Coyote thought to himself, “Why should Wolf have so much influence? And why should Dog’s life be so simple? I’m the clever one! I will break this bond between Wolf and Dog and Human!”
Continue reading A Sirius Wolf Story (a death-origin myth)