Why we’re fated – or seemingly ‘destined’ – to have some experiences in life is a mystery. Is it karma? …a benevolent (or not-so-benevolent) Being having a laugh? Whether it’s an unexpected death, a lottery win, or an imposed career change, all can seem to come from beyond our control.
The ego’s a manipulator, insidious.
No surprise there, I imagine.
Case in point: it comes along after the proverbial fact to give us shit for having [maybe] missed an opportunity, when it’s actually its perspective we’d been seeing things from in the first place (thus causing us to not see – or to ‘shy away from’ – said opportunity)!
It hides all your best gifts on the other side of your fears [and who’s inclined to even think to look there, right?].
Frustrated with your love life?
In a love-slump?
Do you imagine you might be sabotaging your loving relationships?
Do you feel unworthy of true love?
Maybe you feel that you have to ‘settle’, always choose the wrong partner or love interest …?
Ultimately, do you want a change, a way to fix your love life (or lack of one)?!
(Love being a given,) what might most people assume as being the answer to that?
…[apparently, it’s] forgiveness.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with forgiveness; after all, it does remove barriers/ illusions and wanton allusions, but where concern regarding forgiveness can be skewed is when one attaches a hope or expectation to it, a (conscious or unconscious) desire that you’ll be conferred with some manner of ‘cosmic prosperity’ as a result, that’ll it’ll be bestowed upon you by some benevolent being outside of yourself as a reward (for good and proper, quantifiably admirable behaviour).
What do you really ‘have’ to do?
“But, but, but… !!?”
What to do when you’re not able to get closure, to make amends, when you can’t accept or get past what you feel has been left unsaid, undone or unresolved? How can you ever be at peace? (How can the other?) How do you move forward, when closing the door on the past doesn’t seem possible?
It can be especially difficult to practice self-love and self-esteem, when distracted by the discord one might see in what appears to be happening around them (or when visited by the feeling that things seem to be moving – ‘progressing’? – mind-numbingly slowly).
It (~ what you’re considering) ‘seems’ like the thing to do, right?
…I’ll let the doctors handle it – they know best.
…I’m getting bored of this relationship – I think I’ll ease my way out.
…I’ll buy those chips – it’s not like I can’t afford the two bucks.
…I refuse to accept this – it’s not like there’s an alternative (…?)
But what if the truth of the matter is that ‘what feels right’ is just what’s familiar? (And what if what’s familiar isn’t actually doing you any favours?)
Do you find yourself asking lately, “What did I do to deserve this?!” Feeling trapped, like a bird in a cage, defeated by circumstances or expectations (of others or – false though they may be – from /towards yourself)?
If someone would have told me years ago that I’d be a healer and Love helping people, that I’d see it as a Privilege, I’d have told them that they were totally and truly bat-shit crazy. Actually, I wouldn’t have told them; more likely, I’d have done something vilely, insidiously passive-aggressive towards them. It was my own preferred expression of anger that ‘didn’t look like’ anger.
Most everyone that knows me presently will find this extremely difficult to believe, but (if it isn’t obvious from that last paragraph) I used to hate people. And I didn’t discriminate, either; I hated pretty much everyone.
Did I have a ‘why’? Not that I would – or even, could – have thought about it this way at the time, but it was because everyone else needed to recognize how hurt I was, and everyone else was responsible for how I felt. They must have been. After all, I wasn’t. Right? It’s so much easier to hate other people than to admit that you hate yourself.
Contrary to how things might appear or feel to you right now, with what you’re going through, things are actually about to take off in your world. Your unique life experiences have prepared you in a way that will make the most of what it is you’re letting go of at this time, and there are soul-level rewards to be embraced as a result.